EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops