What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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