I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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