What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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The New York Giants

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops