Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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my penis

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Hello

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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