What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -1

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops