What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

hi

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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