A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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What's worse than this That :(

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops