What did John name his dog? Doggy

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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