Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +65

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops