Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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What is Jason? Black.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

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women's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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