I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Andoni was here

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pobody's nerfect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops