Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops