Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

thumb_up thumb_down

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

thumb_up thumb_down

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down

13 =B you just learned something

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm Coming

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops