What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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civil rights

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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