How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops