An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops