What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats brown and sticky? Doody

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops