what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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