Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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knock knock? come in

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops