Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Kate

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

come along children

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +36

josh simpson has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

thumb_up thumb_down +34

AROUND

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

amy copied adams haircut :0

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I won the game.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops