Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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