Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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