Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops