What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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