Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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asdasdasdasd

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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