*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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