A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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