Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

Potassium? K.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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