What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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