Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops