What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops