Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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