So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Bitch

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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like if your cool

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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