ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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