A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops