How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Why? Because.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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What's one plus one? two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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