What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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