Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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