One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops