What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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WILLYS

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Error 37.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Flowers are colors Love me

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops