- Anti Joke

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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