Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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