How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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