Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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womens rights.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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