What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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