Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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