Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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ewrg

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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