How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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You are joking right?

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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12/23/2012

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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