How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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