The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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All of these jokes are about white people

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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