Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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fart

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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No.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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